Learning.

I am learning how to be alone and not lonely.

I'm learning to be a person, my own, without influence or demands.

I am Me, and I've never been able to find that until now. I still miss him. I still love him. But the darkness of the night is fading and the hope for a re-birthing sunrise is waiting. I have run through the rain, the heat, and finally the air feels safe and good in my lungs.

Those who were friends before, can still be friends now. But I understand so much more about myself. Am able to be more mature about my life. I want to share it with someone, but no one understands the epiphany I've had.

I am alone amongst people, looking and speaking at and with myself. They are all distant, faces with minds and thoughts that I know but will not communicate with.

I will forgive. I will never forget.

and it hurts to know that the past can be forgotten so easily. But I understand.

It wasn't as important. It wasn't as relevant. So you demand my friendship now?

No.

I am not yours to control, to want, to anything. I am my own person, body soul and mind. My opinion, my own story, that you don't even care to ask about.

This is not in my hands, it is in yours.